Me + You + BPD = My Failed Relationships + Suicidal Ideation.

Phoenix - The Rebirth of My Life

July 30th, 2014  3:04 PM

Recently, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I did not know what BPD was and how I developed symptoms for such disorder, but while I was hospitalized I was assessed using the DSM-V diagnostic criteria and an in-person interview with a psychiatrist which revealed several symptoms for Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), bipolar tendencies (I did not show enough symptoms to be diagnosed with Type I or Type II Bipolar disorder but showed symptoms of manic/hypo-manic episodes) and the famous BPD.

What  exactly is Borderline Personality Disorder? BPD is a very serious mental disorder which results in unstable relationships with other people, instability in mood and behavior. This can lead to impulsive behavior and suicide. I do not want to give a full lecture on the reigns of BPD, but you can find out more information about the disorder here. I do want…

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It’s past 10:30 at night on a dull Wednesday evening. The kids are in bed when we are all jolted by a knock on the door. It’s our local police. Protect and serve. They are responding to a report made of a suspicious male. Huh? We didn’t make a report. The officer showed up to the wrong house. Really? Cop. Late at night? Wrong address? What in the fuck? Is he really blaming Siri??? Whatever…. Now I must wait the typical three hours for my stomach to remove it self from my throat and my pulse to return to its pre-police at night arrival state. Lord have mercy. The greatest part yet…. The cop gave us the name of the caller. Coincidentally or the law of attraction at work. The caller is none other than one of my momma in the park enemies. Ohhhh that bitch.

Everyday Morons and their parodies

My two cents, my thoughts on parodies, “get over yourselves”. How many feminine fathers and big headed mothers are going to film a Frozen parody while driving, not paying attention to the road, but to yourselves as you attempt to be clever. All I see are online asshats. My generation. Asshats. Get behind the wheel, film a parody while driving, get it out on buttbook or YouTube. Just what the world needs. Another bored, dull parent making fun of their kids or them self through a Disney song. You suck. You’re not cute. You’re boring and ordinary. Now go away.

P.S. Filming your high kids after dental procedures is old. Done to death. Also boring.

I spoke to soon

I wrote a little story the other day of a freakish incident I had at the park with a lady I will call “Psycho Betty”. Now Psycho Betty allows her 5 children ages 2-10 to run absolutely wild. These kids are rowdy and well known for being obnoxious and terrorizing both children and adults in the neighborhood. One day we had a bit of a run in regarding her refusal to monitor her children and the fact that her children are bullies towards smaller children. She freaked out. It was great. However, at the end of my blog I complemented this sow for finally coming out to the park and engaging her children, giving them much needed attention. I was wrong. Here sits Psycho Betty on her fat ass on the slide, playing on her
phone. Not even glancing up to notice that her children wondered out of the park. Oopsies, wonder when she’ll notice that they’re gone. .


Most hated award goes to me.


I live in a quiet and beautiful neighborhood. Perfectly suburban, well kept and peaceful. What is not so perfect is my inability to play nice and to get along with the other women. I live in Mormon central. The Stepford Wives got the idea for the movie after observing these folks (not true as far as I know), this county is the anti-depressant, prescription abuse capital in the nation. Fake smiles, fake happiness, fake people. I do not fit in. One peaceful, seemingly perfect morning I rounded my 4 children up, ages 9 months to 5 years. We grabbed water, sunscreen, sand toys. This was going to be a fantastic day in our neighborhood HOA owned park. And
it was. For about an hour. Then THE KIDS show up. The others. 9 kids. Ages 2-10. No adult supervision, not living in the neighborhood (no idea who these kids belong too) and last but not least NO MANNERS!!! These children show up whenever I am in the park and I have never seen a parent with them. They usually come out in the afternoon, which prompted me to early park visits. They are mean, wild and bully any younger kids that are in the park. 14 kids, I am the only adult. Sigh….. It starts immediately with a 9 year old gal shoving my 5 and 4 year old. I ignore. Then an unsupervised 2 year old takes my 2 year olds doll, prompting tears for the doll back. My 4 year old attempts to retrieve her sisters doll, she is unsuccessful because the other child’s 9 year old sister physically blocks my children. My daughters of course are upset. I reassure them that we will get the doll before leaving and perhaps they should say please. No luck. The 9 year old child doesn’t seem to care that I am watching this go down, she will not allow the return of the doll. This is going on to my left, on my right are 5 boys average age appears to be 10. Suddenly I hear my 5 year old son crying. He tells me one of the boys punched him in the stomach. Really?Agh… As I approach these boys (I have had enough of these naughty kids today) I see one little boy running off away from the park. I asked the other boys what is going on. They confirm exactly what my son told me. He was punched in the stomach by the boy I spotted running away. Enough! I tell these boys “shame on you, you are all older than he is, you know better. Shame. If you want to be allowed in this park you need to learn to play nice” I start gathering up my children’s belongings including the doll, I have had it with these poor mannered, unsupervised kids. I then say without shouting or swearing to the 9 year old keeper of the doll “shame on you, you are old enough to know not to take something that doesn’t belong to you”. I gather my children and we head out of the park and towards our home. Not so fast, I make it to the top of the hill out of the park when the mother of 4 of the unsupervised kids chases me down yelling at me. She got there fast. “How dare you tell my kids they can’t play here, you talk to me if there is a problem”. There is no holding back now, I spat back “who in the hell are you?” She explained who her kids are and where she lives and if I would come to the house if there is a problem regarding her children. Great thought, except I am not the neighborhood babysitter. I instead suggest she come to the park to supervise her own children. I explained today’s problem and explain that these children are always rude. She of course, blames the other woman’s children. This other woman is her neighbor, she never watches her kids, she has 5 of them, they are mean and bully her children, she doesn’t care for the other mother ect… blah blah blah. She is so sick and tired of the other mother and quite anxious for the other mother to hear what I think and sends her children to get her. I’m thinking this is ridiculous and I just want to go home. Obviously these two women have some beef with each other that doesn’t involve me. Before I can completely roll my eyes, a screaming mad woman much bigger than I am is hauling butt up the hill already making a scene. Lordie, here we go. Not at all what I am in the mood for. She’s defending her kids. “They would never” she tells me. “How in the hell would you know, you’re never out here” I reply. I’m listening to her kids lie to her. “No momma, we didn’t” I even at one point told her 9 year old doll thieving daughter to not lie to her mother. This only made the woman’s nostrils bigger. Mother number one is silent, watching, doing nothing. Are you kidding me? This woman drives her crazy, but she’s as silent as a whore in church. These women are both crazy. I’m done with them, I look at them and say “come out to the park, watch your own kids and you will never worry about other adults correcting your children” Nostril flared momma is seeing red. Screaming at me as I walk away towards my home, promising to have me banned from the park. Unbelievable. Crazy. Women. Now, there is some good from this incident. I am now extremely gossiped about, hated, but I never did belong in this particular momma group. The good is this. The neighborhood mommas are now outside. They now come out to the park and spend time with their children. They are all a group, sitting on a blanket, laughing and having a great time with their kids. Kids now have attentive mothers. I stand out more than ever, but they took my advice. The housewives of Utah are out of the house.


So many “mother of the year” types out there writing away about their perfect lives or….. the best, my most unfavorite mommy blogger, the corky mommy. The “oopsies, look at silly me.” Corky and narcissism are in. Selfies, Facebook, blogging blah blah blah. Who cares how many asses you wiped today. Really mommies, your little Jr. is not as adorable to others as they are to you and granny. Not even aunties care. Is it all an act, or do they think people really care? I even read tweets by a mommy bragging she makes millions off of pretty much making fun of and humiliating her children. A vulgar divorcee really. We as a society care so much about day to day look at my goofy Jr, but no worries about our future Jr. What are you creating with the constant look at my princess FB posting and look at lady killer Instagram. I am terrified for this generation. In my life time I will experience the greatest generation as well as the worst. Please mommies, get your wits about you and stop creating these egocentric little assholes for society to one day deal with. Isn’t America hated enough without the up and coming new breed of know-it-all I am a princess because my mommy said so brats? Please….. You look silly and your ruining the planet with your conceited descendants. Plus, no one cares. They’re just being nice.

my opionions documented as I experience them. however, not politically correct, well liked or popular